Humans vs Buckets: Only the Strong Survive
by roconnoodle
Summary: But you're mad at yourself. You saw what Karkat was saying and you deliberately didn't reply. He was asking you out, you could tell, but you were too shocked and embarrassed to write anything back. You could just scream in a pillow. So you do. JadexKarkat
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Morning Regimen

The green eyes stared at you, the expression blank. Just staring. Mouth closed, eyes fixated on your eyes. Which in turn gives you the feeling of smiling, so you do, you smile, and so do they. You then stop smiling at your reflection, and look around the bathroom. Your name is Jade Harley, you are 18, and you are about to start your morning regimen.

What will you do?

Shove a rag down the toilet and flush. Wait...what? What a stupid, moronic idea! You haven't had a thought that ludicrous in weeks. And given the consequences that your bathroom will flood definitely, the idea now seems to be very distasteful, especially if you don't unclog the toilet's drain fast enough.

You decide to examine the bathroom.

What you're looking for is a hair brush and honestly you need one, your black locks are curly and mangled, and its standing out in every which way. You sigh, there really is no use to fret about it, I mean really, you can't change how frizzy it is in the morning. So you decide to brush your teeth instead of your hair.

You lift up the piece of plastic, and look at it...and you're watching it...And you've been gazing at the instrument for a few moments now. You blink a few times to get out of the trance you were in, and decide to turn on the faucet. You bring the toothbrush underneath the running water, only to be bothered by where the toothpaste might be. You shut off the faucet and locate the toothpaste. It was on the counter, and you apply it to the brush. You yawn, because it's six in the morning. But you suppose you're a morning person and aren't really bothered by it.

You bring the toothbrush to your mouth and start to brush. It's a familiar sensation, the bristles raking themselves across your mouth, your teeth, and your tongue. You rinse out your mouth, and start to gargle mouth wash.

You spit out the mouth wash, lets say you did it... ungracefully. You wash your face and smile. " I hope it will be a good day", you wish, almost pleadingly, almost. You walk out of the tiled bathroom and onto the carpeted floor of your abode.

You stretch, raising your arms as high above your head as you can. Your bare feet taking you to your dresser. You strip yourself of your clothes and throw them towards your hamper. You look down, proud of how you've grown. Smiling again as you think to yourself about how much you've developed in six years, your widened hips, your small waist, your b-cup breasts, the roundness of your butt, the womanly defined shape of your legs, and the smiling cheery face( that had lost quite a bit of baby fat), that was seen to this day. You think this as you slide on forest green underwear. And you laugh at the idea of being a young lady, as you put on a lime green bra.

You sit on your bed in your undergarments, feeling the warmth of the covers underneath you, and that is when you realize that it is a bit cold in your room, so you crawl underneath your covers and think of the Pesterchum conversation you had the night before. You close your eyes and remember the one-sided conversation word-for-word.

FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT'S ONE-SIDED CONVERSATION:

CG: ARE YOU AWAKE YOU FUCKASS?

CG: OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT!

CG: IT'S TOO GOG-DAMN LATE FOR A NOOKSUCKER LIKE YOU TO BE UP!

CG: BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.

CG: I HAVE SOME-FUCKING-THING TO SPEW OUT TO YOU.

CG: EVEN THOUGH I WOULD PROBABLY JUST BE WASTING MY FUCKING BREATH AND TIME.

CG: BUT ANYWAYS

CG: I SUPPOSE YOU AREN'T AS MUCH OF A NOOKSUCKER AS I THOUGHT.

CG: SO WITH THAT SAID

CG: I THINK WE SHOULD FUCKING DO SOMETHING

CG: SOMETIME MAYBE

CG: TOGETHER OR SOME-FUCKING-THING

CG: BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO

CG: I WAS DARED BY THAT FISH FUCK ERIDAN TO TELL YOU THAT.

CG: OH AND BY THE WAY

CG: FUCK YOUR COUCH!

STOP FLASHBACK OF LAST NIGHT'S ONE-SIDED CONVERSATION:

But you're mad at yourself. You saw what Karkat was saying and you deliberately didn't reply. He was asking you out, you could tell, but you were too shocked and embarrassed to write anything back. You could just scream in a pillow, you're so upset with yourself.

So you do.

:3 :3 I'm sorry if there is some OOCness. This is my first JadexKakat fanfic. But I would appreciate constructive criticism. If people enjoy it a lot, i'll add a second chapter. Unless there is one person who needs the second chapter to live. So thanks, for reading and please leave a review :3 :3


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Fucking Faygo™

Karkat sat at his desk, fingers drumming on the flat surface impatiently. Absentmindedly sipping on a Faygo™, until all hell broke loose and he realized what he was drinking. Karkat spat up whatever the hell was in his mouth. He threw his hands up in the air, dropping the bastardly drink all over his laptop. And quickly realizing the aftermath of his situation, Karkat then preceded to scream profanites that rang throughout the hive complex. " FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING GODDAMNIT!" Karkat glared at the wet, smoking mess that(was only a few moments ago) was once his shitty-ass working computer. The screen was showcasing the nefariously renowned "black screen of death".

'Oh my gog,' Karkat thought, despair finally set over him. He couldn't do anything. He didn't even know how he had gotten a Faygo™. ' It must have been Gamzee,' Karkat thought bitterly, ' I swear i'll kill that asshat, for replacing anything that I could have had to drink in my fridge with faygo! Fucking Faygo!'

And speak of the devil, there was Gamzee, stumbling like a ninja through the doorway. Even though, stumbling and ninja in the same sentence doesn't really work, but it was Gamzee, and Gamzee was a special case after all. "Hey, Best Friend." Gamzee then waved, using the most minimal amount of muscle use as possible. "Best Friend, you should have seen it, it was the strangest motherfucking thing ever. Ever~ Best Friend? Best Friend?"

Karkat snapped "WHAT!"

"Nothing." Gamzee replied.

"Okay then, now can I get back to-" Honk! Oh my Gog! That horn! That motherfucking horn! Karkat pressed his face into his hands and swivled his chair around. He hadn't even realised he had completely turn around to face gamzee-

But what the hell was he going to do with his laptop? Karkat groaned. He pushed himself away from the table, got out of the chair, grabbed a jacket, and opened the door, and left. But, not without telling Gamzee he'll be back later. Not that gamzee was paying any attention, he was just too high out of his mind, slamming back a Faygo and chillaxing on the couch.

Karkat pushed his hands in his pockets, he was actually heading over to Jade's room to see what her reply was. Mostly because he was too impatient to wait for an answer. And he really had a soft spot for the human girl. He couldn't help, but blush at the thought of her. She was always so silly, and so flamboyant, so not like him. He was in front of her door now. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He waited for a good four seconds, before he started to bite his cheek. Did she not want to go out with me? Oh Fuck is she avoiding me? She probably doesn't want to go out with a fuckass like you. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Karkat hit his head against the door in rhythm, to his curses.

"Uh. Karkat?" a small voice asked from behind him. He turned around only to see the look of worry on Jade's pretty face. Karkat blushed. Pretty...her pretty face? 'Well, you do like her because she's pretty, and nice,' thought Karkat, but quickly assured himself he mostly liked her because she was less incompetent than everyone else. Yeah, that's why.

"Yeah, hey Jade," He rubbed the back of his neck, "So about the whole me asking you out thing-"

"It was just a dare. Right?" Jade answered. She looked a bit sad, she sounded like she wanted to go.

"NO! No, it wasn't a dare! I was just wondering what your response was, because you didn't reply last night." His last few words trailed off and got quiet. Jade's face lit up though.

"Karkat, I would love to go on a date with you!" she beamed at him. Karkat didn't think his face would get any redder. And then she hugged him. And he could feel her breasts against his chest. And his arms landed around her waist. And his face was in her hair. And it felt like it was on fire, but he held her anyway. She smelled nice too, adding that to the mental list of 'Reasons I like Jade'.

And then he let go of her and walked away from her as quickly as possible, but not without telling her he'll be at her place tomorrow at noon.

Oh my god! Don't hate me! I'm sorry if this chapter is so short, and I promise to make future chapters longer. I was going to update last week, but I was afraid if you guys would hate it. I'm also just having a really hard time trying to write Karkat:( But enough of that! Please Review, and tell me how to make the story better, or just tell me that you liked it. Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, this is just a note from the author, but I would highly appreciate the watchers of this story to read. This story was put up quite a while back, and since then I have failed to update. The thing is, as a writer I have grown since I first wrote this story and my grasp of the characters is better than what it was. As being one of the very terrible people who haven't caught up in the most recent pages of Homestuck, (and dear god, I'm trying) I have come up to the block of whether or not to continue this story in such a fashion as I did earlier. A lot of development has happened in the comic... from what I've spoiled for myself and from what others have spoiled for me. So, the question is if I should give a shot at this story again. Treating it from a now, more "canon" perspective. Or if I should just scrap the story. The thing is I like this story, and I love writing it. Getting reviews from you guys has made me feel awful that I haven't updated in eternity. I would just really appreciate it, if you could aid me in my decision of how I could evolve the story into a more canon friendly version; if I should or not. I'm just a young author with a dilemma that you don't have to help me with. I would like to know what you think though, I do respect all of the reviews and favorites and watches on this story. And If you have any opinions or advice on this story that you'd like to share, I'd really appreciate it. **


End file.
